Gay
Gay most commonly describes a man who experiences romantic and/or sexual attraction to other men. In broader English usage, gay can sometimes refer to homosexual people generally, including women, but this encyclopedia uses gay primarily for male homosexuality; women attracted to women are described more specifically as lesbian.[1]
Being gay describes sexual orientation, not one particular personality, appearance, sexual role or way of having sex. Gay men can differ greatly in masculinity, relationships, preferred sexual activities and whether they identify as a top, bottom or versatile.
This section of Sex Guide focuses on sex between adult men, male sexual anatomy, anal and oral sex, sexual roles, adult terminology and practical questions about gay sexuality.
What does gay mean?
Sexual orientation describes a relatively enduring pattern of romantic, emotional and/or sexual attraction. A gay man is therefore a man whose attraction is primarily or exclusively directed toward other men.[1]
Sexual orientation is different from gender identity. A gay man is not a woman and being attracted to men does not make a man less male. Masculine, feminine and androgynous gay men all exist.
The terms gay and homosexual overlap, but gay is generally the more common identity term in everyday English. Homosexuality and male homosexuality remain useful descriptive or scientific terms.
Research and public-health literature also frequently uses the expression men who have sex with men (MSM). MSM describes sexual behaviour rather than identity: it can include gay men, bisexual men and men who identify as heterosexual but nevertheless have sexual contact with men. It should therefore not automatically be used as another word for gay.
Attraction, relationships and intimacy
Gay relationships can include the same broad forms of intimacy found in other relationships: romantic attraction, kissing, physical affection, sex, companionship and long-term partnership.
Male-male sexuality should therefore not be reduced to anal intercourse. A large U.S. study of 24,787 gay and bisexual men found that during their most recent sexual encounter with a man, kissing was reported by 74.5%, oral sex by 72.7% and partnered masturbation by 68.4%. Anal intercourse occurred in 37.2% of the reported encounters.[2]
This illustrates an important practical point: gay sex is not synonymous with anal sex. Men may combine kissing, touching, masturbation, oral sex, anal stimulation, rimming, penetration or other activities in many different ways.
A nationally representative U.S. survey likewise found substantial diversity in sexual behaviour among gay and bisexual men rather than a single characteristic sexual pattern.[3]
Male anatomy and sexual pleasure
Sex between men involves the same male anatomy found outside gay sexuality, but different structures can become sexually important depending on the activity.
The penis is highly sensitive, particularly around the glans and surrounding tissues, and can be stimulated manually, orally or during penetration.
The anus and anal canal are surrounded by an internal and external sphincter. The external sphincter can be consciously contracted and relaxed, while the internal sphincter is largely involuntary.[4]
In men, the prostate lies immediately in front of the rectum. This anatomical position means that it can be reached indirectly through the anterior rectal wall during anal or finger stimulation.[5]
The mouth, nipples, perineum, testicles, penis, anus and surrounding skin can all participate in sexual pleasure. Which areas a particular man enjoys is individual and should not be inferred solely from whether he is gay, top or bottom.
Common forms of gay sex
Oral sex is one of the most common sexual activities between men. One partner stimulates the other's penis with the mouth, although partners may alternate or stimulate each other simultaneously.
Mutual masturbation involves stimulating each other's penis by hand. It can occur independently or as part of a longer sexual encounter involving kissing, oral sex or anal stimulation.
Anal sex involves one partner inserting the penis into the other partner's anus and rectum. The penetrating partner is commonly described as the top, while the receptive partner is the bottom.
Rimming or anilingus means oral stimulation of the anus. Other forms of anal play can involve fingers or sex toys without penile penetration.
Sexual encounters between men often combine several activities rather than consisting of a single sexual act. A study of men attending a sexual-health clinic examined combinations including kissing, genital contact, mutual masturbation, oral sex, rimming and both insertive and receptive anal intercourse.[6]
For practical examples of body positions, see Gay Sex Positions.
Top, bottom and versatile
Three of the best-known terms in gay male sexuality are top, bottom and versatile.
A top usually prefers the insertive role during anal sex.
A bottom usually prefers the receptive role.
See Gay Bottoming for the receiving role, comfort, hygiene and sexual-health considerations.
A versatile or vers man is comfortable with both roles or does not strongly restrict himself to one of them.
These words can describe behaviour during one encounter, a general preference or a more stable sexual self-label. Research shows that the labels do not perfectly predict what a man does with every partner.[7]
They also should not be treated simply as equivalents of masculine and feminine. Cultural stereotypes often portray tops as more masculine and bottoms as more feminine, but qualitative research shows that gay men interpret and challenge these stereotypes in different ways.[8]
Anal role preference is also not determined simply by penis size, body size or appearance. Research examining gay and bisexual men's top/bottom identities found a more complicated combination of pleasure, control, anxiety, experience and self-perception.[9]
Anal sex and practical anatomy
The anus is naturally closed by its sphincter muscles. Unlike a vagina, the rectum does not produce substantial sexual lubrication, so anal penetration generally requires added lubricant to reduce friction.
The receptive partner can experience pressure, stretching and stimulation of the anal canal and surrounding tissues. In men, penetration can also apply pressure toward the prostate because the prostate lies directly in front of the rectum.[5]
Comfort varies greatly between people and between occasions. Relaxation, gradual penetration, sufficient lubrication, position and communication can all affect how anal sex feels.
Pain should not simply be treated as an unavoidable feature of bottoming. Persistent or sharp pain can indicate excessive friction, insufficient relaxation or injury.
Top and bottom are also sexual roles rather than relationship hierarchies. The receptive partner is not inherently passive, feminine or less dominant, and the insertive partner does not automatically control the encounter.
Sexual health
Gay men can acquire the same sexually transmitted infections as other sexually active people, while particular activities create different routes of transmission.
From an HIV-transmission perspective, receptive anal intercourse carries substantially greater biological risk than insertive anal intercourse when one partner has transmissible HIV and no prevention method is being used. The thin rectal lining provides an efficient route for infection.[10]
HIV risk can be greatly reduced through modern prevention. PrEP greatly reduces the chance of acquiring HIV when taken correctly, while a person living with HIV who maintains an undetectable viral load through treatment does not sexually transmit HIV — commonly summarized as U=U, Undetectable = Untransmittable.[11]
Condoms remain useful for reducing HIV and several other STI risks. Regular testing is also important because infections such as gonorrhoea or chlamydia can occur in the throat, rectum or urethra and may produce no obvious symptoms.[12]
Vaccination against hepatitis A, hepatitis B and HPV can also be relevant to sexual health.[12]
Gay terminology in adult media
Gay pornography uses a large vocabulary describing sexual roles, appearance, body types and activities.
Top, bottom and versatile primarily describe anal-sex roles or preferences.
Terms such as bear, twink, otter, daddy and jock describe recognizable body types, age-related styles or subcultural identities rather than sexual orientations of their own.
Terms such as bareback, rimming, fisting, cum play and other adult labels describe particular sexual practices or pornographic themes.
Pornographic categories should not be treated as a complete description of ordinary gay relationships. Adult media tends to classify bodies and sexual behaviour very explicitly because those categories help viewers locate particular fantasies.
Likewise, a preference for being top or bottom does not describe a man's entire personality, masculinity or role outside sex.
See also
References
- ↑ 1,1 1,2 American Psychological Association. Understanding sexual orientation and homosexuality. American Psychological Association
- ↑ Rosenberger JG, Reece M, Schick V, et al. Sexual behaviors and situational characteristics of most recent male-partnered sexual event among gay and bisexually identified men in the United States. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2011;8(11):3040–3050. PubMed
- ↑ Herbenick D, Bowling J, Fu T-CJ, Dodge B, Guerra-Reyes L, Sanders S. Sexual Behaviors of U.S. Men by Self-Identified Sexual Orientation: Results From the 2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2017;14(3):e123. PubMed
- ↑ Ahmed A, Arbor TC, Qureshi WA. Anatomy, Abdomen and Pelvis: Anal Canal. StatPearls. NCBI Bookshelf
- ↑ 5,1 5,2 Singh O, Bolla SR. Anatomy, Abdomen and Pelvis, Prostate. StatPearls. NCBI Bookshelf
- ↑ Chow EPF, et al. Combinations of Sexual Activities During a Sex Episode with Recent Casual Male Partner Among Men Who Have Sex with Men: A Cross-Sectional Study. Journal of Sex Research, 2024. PubMed
- ↑ Moskowitz DA, Garcia CP. Top, Bottom, and Versatile Anal Sex Roles in Same-Sex Male Relationships: Implications for Relationship and Sexual Satisfaction. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 2019;48:1217–1225. PubMed
- ↑ Ravenhill JP, de Visser RO. "It Takes a Man to Put Me on the Bottom": Gay Men's Experiences of Masculinity and Anal Intercourse. Journal of Sex Research, 2018;55(8):1033–1047. PubMed
- ↑ Moskowitz DA, Roloff ME. Recognition and Construction of Top, Bottom, and Versatile Orientations in Gay/Bisexual Men. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 2017;46:273–285. PubMed
- ↑ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Anal Sex and HIV Risk. CDC
- ↑ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Preventing HIV with PrEP. CDC
- ↑ 12,1 12,2 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. About STIs and Gay Men. CDC